It brushes my...

the following is an excerpt from a long poem I wrote 12/5/2009 as mentioned above...

...your tongue-- a runaway thief at dusk

stealing my sanity, replacing it with a multitude of pains and pleasures--

the pain of the absence of your touch in every place all at once

my body demands it

the intensity of your kisses begin to reveal your raw nature

passionately branding my lips which will forever cherish its scars

such pleasure

you pull back, denying me your lips

to smile slyly-- naughtily

to ask me again... what you already know the answer to

but you've found proof of it

pouting...

So gentle... thick fingers test a rhythmic theory

damn its delicious, the noises made by man...

Queen Poetess B (c) Copyright 2009 All Rights Reserved

Its all really Apples and... Peaches?

Apples are not graceful fruits. Not graceful like peaches.

Apples are hard, can be dry, whereas peaches are soft and moist-- juicy...

like... me.

Apples, anyone? (lol)

Queen Poetess B (c) Copyright 2009 All Rights Reserved.

Good

Everything...
I mean everything he touch
(everything you touch)
He make good...
(you make good...)
So I want him to touch me
I want you to touch me
(touch me...)
Touch everything...
I want him to touch everything...
Because…
I want you.... I want him to...
I need you to... cuz I need him to...
Touch everything
(everything)
Every place on me
My body is his instrument
You can play on me
(...he can play on me...)
He can play with me
Because...
Everything he touch...
He make good...
I mean... everything he touch
He make good...
he make good
Play your beat on me
(he can play his beat on me)
Because
Everything...
I mean, everything he touch
he touch it and make it...
He makes it
Good. so good....


Queen Poetess B Copyright © 2009 All Rights Reserved.

Verse-a-Verse

Inspired by a battle with my girl Fusion. Thanks for the motivation :)

you know Im all heart, all life and all words, funny that you finally decided to step in on this verse/ hope that you ready to have your heart delivered to my feet/ I take whats mine-- dont deny that I am Queen-- one and only/ you think my ego's big, all because they take nothin from me-- im winning, got the crowd on their feet/ everybody in the crowd is swaying to the beat of whats Royal... which I own/ Im sitting perched on my throne as no one contests me-- so I suggest thee bow down...


Fusion or confusion, I know its your ego Im bruising, and after your mind stops cruising you can stop back at the Queen's court/ move to swift action cuz there is no time to abort/ dont send your messenger, because he will fail to report the magnificence of this prose...

yea, you know how my story goes.. they not really interested in my highs, just my lows.../ wont go there, cuz he already knows/ cant take from me this honor he has bestowed upon my highness/ promise these lands ever wet never knowing dryness /as these waters run and flow free/ run not from me but-- for fun-- succomb to me/ go on and pay my fee/ leave you light headed (dont forget it) and when my words echo dont forget who said it..me: I bet it-- would metastisize in you eyes if you let it/ go on and follow the band, cuz I lead it/ leave a whole in your chest-- call a medic/ my lyricism is ill-- you wont forget it


All that shit you saying is the same/ you better get your word game right when you come up off the brain to challeng my Birthright/ make it hard for you to sleep at night/ never ever could you compare my royalness with that with which is as fragile as glass/ dont let your big words write checks your skills cant cash-- your plane will crash/ then, baby burn/ I can see that you can stand from the Queen-- a afew lessons to be learned/ keep oon trying, you said it wont take long/ but of all that you say// no one can ever challenge my throne
its on
...
volumes you speak
but you fill in the emptyness--
you got my wrath going-- and its cooming in relentless
I hear you laughing/ I hope you know that Im real/ all my words are seen, but I know its in your heart --dem you can feel
want me to be your victim? well the hunter is the hunted/ you asked for this battle, and I hope its what you wanted-- no running-- Im coming for everything you got/ my words might be cold, but my mind is hot
Ok, I put the prose on hold/ got the game in my hand-- so now its your go...



Queen Poetess B © 2009 All Rights Reserved

Telephone Call

miss you, Father. the only one I knew. Thirteen years-- I will never forget you.

The fourth of December
(can't run from what I remember)
My dad called home—
No, my heavenly Father called my dad on the telephone
Ring ring—ring ring--
and he answered, he picked up that phone
He knew who was calling, and he went right on home
Left us alone, on earth in this hell
But the memory of the only father I knew
Causes tears in my eyes to well
Yea, I know that where he is is even better
Than the storms we who are left here are left here to weather
However, I remain with my face towards my angels in the sky
Because I am hardened, and I am lonely, but I have no more tears to cry.

Queen Poetess B ©Copyright 2009 All Rights Reserved

...ascension

This image is called Shadow of a Man by BaddogLtd and I love the imagery with the poetry-- a wonderful combination to illustrate the ascension.

Phantom Ascension

Subtle panting beginning slowly in sleep
My head rolls to the side as my eyes flit in this surreal existence
Sensing the pending arrival of this mental invasion
Enter my mind and siphon my will to bend to his
I inhale deeply to become one with his scent before the ascension
Breathe deep, feel deep, love deep, he speaks
My eyes open wide as the bellow of his call reaches my ears
My mind denies but my body will not follow suit
Come to me, my Queen, for I am your heart’s desire
The burn is eminent upon your skin, my kiss will put out your fire
My arms move in response, opening wide to receive all his energy
My thighs part to let loose the warmth that flows from within me
The arch is a slow force—a deep uprising of my back refusing to be flat upon the sheets
Royally erect nipples point heavenward while the desire creates its own darkness around me
His phantom breath a warm and inviting tease as he traces his name upon my skin with his lips
Mine part, as does my will… promise you won’t forget how I make you feel
Hips grind in harsh retaliation
Lips crush away the pain and frustration
Panting increasing as does the flow of hot excitement reflected in my flex
Passionate moaning represented by my voice, I deny this is my cry as of yet
Bucking wildly as I rise to crescendo
Into my ascension

Queen Poetess B © Copyright 2009 All Rights Reserved.

Fade to Black

once foremost, the transition to the rear has begun
it’s moving slowly…
slowly…
the light is dimming, there is no sun
it’s fading…
fading…
there is no more desire to step forward
retreating back…
back…
withdrawing from what once mattered
it doesn’t matter…
recede…
fade…
you’re fading…
…to black.

Queen Poetess B © Copyright 2009 All Rights Reserved.

Word.

Nothing exists to counter my Word.
Word? Word! Word.

damn...
It's funny how consecutive letters can bring about inspiration
(I've learned to balance my concentration during this poetic intrapersonal conversation)
its been a minute since I've had my feelings in it
(this shit is never-ending so there is no end to begin it)
I got time in my pocket and there is no better place to spend it
than here on this mic...
don't ask me how I am doing
because I am not fine
so I continue to work through my pain as I cry through my rhymes
and I hate it and love it at the same time
pisses me off, yet excites me so
its chocolate covered honey baked ham
served with raw egg yolks
a perfect-disconcerted measure of pleasure and pain
but I can't have the sweet without the salt
cuz it wouldn't taste the same
and the bitter-after taste of its reminder would not be there to sustain
the hard earned lessons that are now burned into the brain
casting these sad images of this life like a video on repeat
and I can't run from my reality no matter how fast I move my feet in retreat
So I use my spoken words to inhale its life into my lungs
I open my heart and tune my ear to the song that is being sung
inside me (God-- can you hear it?!)
This birthing of my desire so rare; so hot that its cooling to the touch
I love how I am powerless to it-- my appetite insatiable and can never get enough
This thing is a love affair....
I don't think I ever loved something so hard that was so physically intangible
but living without Word is most assuredly unmanageable
wanting to abandon it all to be with it is a thought purely fanciful
but its better than living here in this world without feeling -- with out its Love
Word to me you're so healing-- gives me that feeling that keeps me reeling like no one on earth ever has
Lost in my pages left to secure and blanket me
I am comforted by your presence
but the correct combination of itself can be found
unlike the lips of the utterer

Queen Poetess B Copyright © 2009 All Rights Reserved

Trampled

this one is actually a little old. I wrote this earlier in the year and found it last night...

Unconsciously or uncaringly discarding her cares like waste

Unable to admit it; but always responding with reasons not to ­­­­

Always flipping but she's tired of spinning,

Waiting, staring at the time capsule trapped within a reflection

Time spilled upon the table and upon the floor into haphazard directions

Always second choice, second best or second rate

Viewed as wanting too much—she’s unable to be seasoned to his desired taste

Every struggle is a test? Or tested to see how long the struggle will persist?

But then new, more prominent entries are placed onto his list

Items like her shift down like the cells in Excel

Didn’t know breath was being held, so now there is the waiting to exhale

Thinking of her growth, thinking she will prevail

But in actuality, the plan in totality has failed

The car has derailed

Only reasons to distract

Ready to create and manipulate whenever the train is ready to switch tracks

So she will turn around and return to the top

Whether it is unconscious or uncaring, she knows it has got to stop

Be ready to address it with only the right reasons to

Stop the spinning and the flipping,

Because the mirror’s reflection is just You

Make good on the things you once planned to do

So that the many concerns will be reduced to a few

Know the character changes are for real-- not a sample

Show her that you're here, you hear, and who she is to you is ample

She’s tired of collecting dust like an old nick-knack on a mantle

Accept her as she is because the rejection leaves her trampled


Queen Poetess B © Copyright 2009 All Rights Reserved.

On My Mind

got a lot on my mind
but ain’t got the time
so I sit at my desk
while I stand on my grind
much has been given and much been lost
never knew the price
so came up short on payin' the cost
but I'm Boss--
and I place you under my umbrella
I promise to help ‘em for now and forever
I give and give tell I can't no more
no one cares about the things without I'll go?
sacrifice my future
sacrifice the way I live
and when it’s all tapped out
they ask what more I can give
God forbid-- don't ask me how I'm livin'
I can’t tell you ‘bout the borrowed dollaz I'm spendin'
tell her what she isn’t because who cares what she is?
I say I am, no I AM, but they know not what she is
my struggles have made me from their dreams digress
but through it all I still make forward progress
but-- I gotta say...
I got a lot on my mind
and I'd tell you what I was thinkin’,
but Queen just don't have the time...

Queen Poetess B Copyright © 2009 All Rights Reserved

with a prayer in my heart

sometimes...

I just want to scream

but I ain't got no acres

so they might call the police

release

just peace

and a bit of sanity

these are the small things from Him

I am asking...

Queen Poetess B Copyright © 2009 All Rights Reserved.

Git Off Me

Dear Reader,

Please accept my sincerest thanks for following my blog. This is my 100th post (six are drafted, but not officially posted just yet) so it is somewhat of a milestone along my writing journey. Enjoy.

The Queen's unshakable
resolve unbreakable
presence unmistakable
and those that hate me love me too…

Back up off me cuz you can't hold me down-- but hate my brightness, yes my greatness is too profound…

Git Off Me

Sometimes people do things that don’t make sense. Sometimes, people ask for the truth, but don’t really want it. Some still will use you, even if its nothing more than to make them feel better about who they are—even if who they are is a lie.

Its kinda like...
dropping clothes off at the cleaners, and then periodically stopping by to see if the items are still there
But never intending to pick them up, or pay the fare--
But you ask the clerk to stand there and reassure every time …
“Yes , they are still here, do you intend…” and then goodbye
Maybe I’ll retrieve them the next time I drop by
Maybe I’ll pay you for your con-vo
But that’s all I can do-- I gotta move pron-to
Got to keep busy, you know how I roll
Ain’t too much time to stop, but plenty to go, tho
Keep it movin’ then, and don’t look back
As a matter a fact, everything I once meant, I now retract
All once creamy white has now has faded to black
Stop tryna hand me a hair to hold onto your proverbial nut sack
You can’t change a lie into a statement-of-fact
So please let the door hit you square in your ass crack
The bullshit you speak leaves your lips chapped
I’m good with my family, and got a love of my own
You act like you know, but you only think you are grown
Real women and real men can deal with real talk
But when it came to the Real part, you got choked up
I hope the taste this work leaves in your mouth is salty
Cuz this is the Queen’s way of telling you to Git Up Off Me!!!


Queen Poetess B Copyright © 2009 All Rights Reserved

Doin’ Fine

Freestyle Love Child 10/6

"...either love me, or leave me alone..."

You can love me fa me
or leave me alone on my throne
Either way I’m still on--without you…
Once raised you up-- but now I doubt you
Tryna keep your face a blank slate
Too false to deal with the shit you shoved on ya plate
Want to throw it out there—while throwing it away
Guess there's no reason for you to have to save face
Ain’t like there was any room for me-- had to elbow my way
Just to take up a lil space—
But I was unaware this was a race
Got my second wind just to come in last place
Just like I came, I am gone without a trace
And I can make myself cum just to keep my aura straight
Won’t leave a note or make a video tape
but you'll remember me eternally, like the epicenter of your faith
A short while evolved into forever,
but couldn’t keep the promise
so Always turned to Never
However--
You’ll have to imagine my life in your dreams--
thought you kept the record clean
but we kept seeing different things
Maybe I’ll forget you and never think twice
And it may be that you’ll think of me the rest of your life
Always open to be judged
say fuck em all—just because—
They tryna handle this rare Queen without protective gloves
Mind hot like fire, heart cold as stone
Molten lava running between the Mound-tains you’d call home
Can take the journey with a friend,
or enjoy a silent ride
Either way—I’m lovin’ me—
and I’ll be doin' just fine…

Queen Poetess B © Copyright 2009 All Rights Reserved

Losing Home

This was meant to be written--I found the pen--now its past-driven…


We’re losing home, where we used to stay
Can't walk into the room
Where mom and daddy used to lay
No more chances to touch that rose bush thats damned to stay
Even though Momma Rose tried to kill that bush
In the past, now decades away
(it still don’t sit up straight to this day)
No more memories triggered when I walk into the kitchen
I remember how our new addition made me feel like we should’ve been on How I’m Livin’
No more stomping and running up and down bare stairs
No more can I see the pink room where I said my prayers
(and kissed a boy there…)
But we’ll still have our memories—
Me and my sis would stay up late
Telling stories, eating candy and recording our original songs on cassette tape
Doing all sorts of things that would make our Mom mad
Like listening to that Richard Pryor record our dad had that made us laugh
No more hanging in the basement where the ceiling’s too low
Something our cousin would always forget—he’d hit his head
Sending me and sis into a row
No more harmonicas in the China cabinet
No more rubber bullets lodged in nasal cavities
No more hiding behind the fridge from Momma’s belt
No more hands of Five-hundred being dealt
No more trips to Indian Acres and flea market trips
No early morning stirring as she prepares for dialysis
No more dust piles left swept neatly in the hall
No more hugs from the one who reassured me despite it all
Were losing only the physical evidence of this home
But losing her and it so closely reaffirms that she really is gone…

Queen Poetess B Copyright © 2009 All rights reserved.

Season Change

Purifying

It is October, and the season's changed...

First, for everyone following my blog, I would like to say thank you. Are You Listenin’ was very hard for me to start though I had been tossing the idea of it around for some time. I was reserved because I was so concerned with being misunderstood, but I now enjoy the freedom of having a platform on which I am able to share my creativity. I don’t usually choose to post much other than poetry, but it is important for me to share a few thoughts as the scene changes in my life.

With the recent passing of my Mother whom I most adored, I’ve been faced with so many complex issues, difficult decisions, and heart-breaking realities. Even though I have known for months my mom’s house was to be sold and that this was the only way to do what we need to close up my mother’s final business, it seems that it is only now that I am beginning to feel the weight and the heavy reality that very soon, we will have no claim to that physical memory. It is merely painful to lose my mom and what she worked so hard for so close in proximity to one another. I have loving family around me, but I still feel so isolated at times, and this numbs me. She was the nucleus of my life; she laid my foundation, and now she has gone away. And the world is moving on without her--this should be impossible, but this forces me to have to continue. For the most part, I am always trying to remain outwardly happy, but I’m still mourning deeply inside.

On my commute into work this morning, I was thinking about all the things that I love about my mom’s house. All the times my sister and I got into trouble… I’ll share one story I find particularly enjoyable; well, it was embarrassing to me at the time though. I guess I was like, nine or ten years old. One time, I tried to run from my mother because she was going to pull out that belt and wear me out for something I had done, and we were standing in our living room as she was fussing at me. Just as she gets the belt out of the hallway closet, I jet out of the front door and tried to make it down to the end of the block, but she ran out the door behind me yelling. This caught attention of our neighbor Ms. Harris two houses down, and I was running toward her—intending pass her--as she worked on her flower bed in the front yard. By the time I made it to her fence, Mrs. Harris had yanked my up by the collar of my shirt and was holding me still as my mother jogged towards me as I unsuccessfully attempted to free myself of her grip (it takes a village, lol). This really pissed my mother off, so she decided to get that belt crackalackin' as soon as she yanked me free of my neighbor and half dragged me up the street-- my legs flailing wildly trying to walk and dodge the licking leather at the same time. My mom always told me that if I acted up in school, she would come up there and whoop my behind right in front of my class. I always believed her, too.

Every day I go on because I have to. I know that what I am experiencing is what too many have endured and what many more will endure someday, but knowing that this pain exists within others lessens mine none. I smile and play nice, act measured, affable and unaffected, and successfully execute my duties within the routine of my life, but there are so many holes in me now. I’m learning to live with some of them, but others will ache forever.

I want to stretch my hand out and touch peace, allowing it to wash over me, leaving me drenched in tranquility…

Queen Poetess B Copyright © 2009 All Rights Reserved

In Memory of My Mother

moving in any direction now seems impossible to do--I hate how the feeling of losing you is too new

today you would have seen sixty-one
but His plan had already been laid
so I smile to hide the tears that will run
for you're one of the new Angels He's made

I will try to persuade my heart to be joyous
I may will myself to put on a guard
Sometimes bitter, but some times sweet
you told me that my journey too often would be hard

I've never been the most patient
but I remember your smile when you thought of how far I'd come
of all the blessings I received in my life

by far, you were the greatest one.

I'll always love you, and I'll miss you Forever.

Queen Poetess B Copyright © 2009 All Rights Reserved

Severed

sweeet death and delicious sorrow

severed piece of flesh
I am
removed from the whole
I am
loosly floating
away
from You
I am
no more...

Uncontrollable beast
I am
I should be
removed from this world
I have been
abbreviated-- yet extended
as have my lives...
all that matters has been
Taken
Off... and I drift away
from you all.
this free world is not free
it comes with a hefty fee
no payments-- just flee
drifting
in this sway of current
in this way its current-- and aged though not obsolete
brings its changing of the leaves
never knew
that being free
would
feel
like death wrapped in forever

you'll find me somewhere in between...

Queen Poetess B Copyrignht © 2009 All Rights Reserved

Climb

the singing in the background...

"...if I could get over that HUMP (mmmmm)
then maybe I will feel better
maybe I won’t FALL
if I could get over that HUMP (mmmmmmm)
then maybe I will..."

That Hump by Erykah Badu, off the album New AmErykah, Pt. One: 4th World War 2008

Climb high...
...higher
amount to much more in degree--

wallow instead of swallow
while the tallest of the shortcomings
leaves the fable hallow

inordinately extra
past bygone and closed
to raise that eye skyward
has them left superfluously in dispose

surplus of bad luck is really good fortune
depending on the angle
hope and air stolen in dispair
blocking the airway to leave them strangled

chosen and not broken
still run backward to shattered pieces
bruised egos and love repo'd
no one knew the scraped knees were still bleedin'

excessively unused so it rises to the top
acrimoniousness left to boil over
time continuously moving-- but somehow it stopped

anguish is the affliction
nostalgia in the glass leaves a bitter residue
"I've climbed over--I'm better"
but demure narcissistic loathing is still shining through

always tempted to ignore the lump
paining the throat though its origins hail from the heart
all the talking is dead without doing
and taking the first step's the hardest part...

Queen Poetess B Copyright ©2009

Power

empowered

the core of your foundation

slick from the tightness of penetration

... such jubilation....

but--

I sit here teary eyed at the thought,

the need

to hear how much you are weak

for me

the waver in your voice

the tiny high tremble in a moan not successfully stifled

I get high on your ecstasy

fight more, lose louder

bitten lips draw blood to the surface begging

to be released

oh how I love to teeter on the edge

I love the rush of danger pleasure resistance and wanting to surrender

a whisper

the way your hairs in all those places... graze my skin

the mutter of how close you are to reaching

stretching out to stretch it out until you can't hold out

beginning a journey of a soul shattering decent back

down

to

.... mmmmmmmmm.

Queen Poetess B Copyright ©2009

Pieces

smile
kiss
hands
touch
laugh

I love you.

smile,
kiss
hands...
laugh
touch

I need you.

smile
kiss
hands...
laugh.

a tiny joke is the remedy
like I need your heart spilled onto paper

Laugh.

tender touch, gentle smile
imagination runnin' wild...

Kiss.

I need it. I need you.
prelude to nothing
and we are too much of....
something else.
(I surrender...)

Smile.

because I prevent you from being better
but there's an understanding
just as your lungs need not be reminded to breathe...

Touch.

my mind, my heart, my soul
we are as eventual as our bodies and minds are destined to grow old...
never cold...

Laugh.

disguise your disbelief
journey away from me
whisper your truths upon air
never know if the wind will carry it there

Kiss...

away my torment
torture my flesh with your needing touch
producing a deep inhalation that makes you close your eyes, exhale and...

Smile.

satisfied.

no uneven comparison of percentages

even when our souls and possessions are vintage

so will be this Love.

Touch...
not my peices, but my whole.

my entirety.

Queen Poetess B Copyright © 2009

Conclusion of mixedthoughtoetry Series

...

So, it is here that my mixedthoughtoetry series concludes as did my train ride to my place of employment, and I must say that I am proud of this work.

I hope that you enjoyed the mini-series of my thoughts, and I must say it was rather invigorating to just let my mind guide my writing that day. Its amazing at how fast our minds work, and how slow we convey our thoughts. Within my mind, a new idea is often trumped by a second idea before the first one was completed, and it can make me appear to be a stuttering mess when in conversation, or walk in circles trying to prepare to leave my house-- but I love it. Words make me feel so terribly alive. Always, I have so much to say... so many things going on inside my head at once that I need a moment to breathe between them. But that is why I write. That is why I have created Are You Listenin', and I must say that it brings me pleasure to know that someone is.

Someone like you.

Thanks for following me.


Queen Poetess B Copyright © 2009

Lunch

@ Pentagon City

two pieces of bread

a cold cut in between

mustard, lettuce, mayo

a slice of sharp cheddar cheese

I will be thinking of it

none of which I can buy

you know what its like during a recession

when your bank account is dry.... lol

Queen Poetess B Copyright © 2009

Electronic Device

@ Pentagon

I blame your malfunctions on real people

you inanimate piece of shit

you aint nothing like your lying ass preview

and your flaws purely electronic

you work poorly in wooded areas

you spazz out in water

you need constant recharging attention

and all the functions you boast

always deplete your power

Queen Poetess B Copyright © 2009

Clear Blue Sky

@ L'Enfant Plaza



found a mysterious note,

penmenship I did not recognize,

I've been told to expect the unexpected

for it was to drop from the clear blue sky.

I waited and waited...

I smiled with anticipation....

I let myself hold on--

until my hope became deflated.

Queen Poetess B Copyright © 2009

Breakfast in Bed

@ Gallery Place/Chinatown

don't open your eyes

don't let it dissolve

smell the baking bread, bacon and eggs

feel the ache in your center from when he broke you off...

roll over in the covers

savor the scent of manliness mixed with cologne

open your eyes, breathe deep and smell nothing

let it all fade away cuz you're alone...

Queen Poetess B Copyright © 2009

Spoiled

@ U St. Cardozo

holding the door open for her
he smiles as if they'd just met
he resists the urge to smack her fatty
cuz it'd make him dip his tongue where he knew she'd be wet
loving the way they must behave in public was a tease
dick hard enough he could cry
but they both liked playing the game
because he knew he'd make up for it tonight

Queen Poetess B Copyright © 2009