Lies!

"...You're so vain...You probably think this song is about you...You're so vain...I'll bet you think this song is about you, Don't you? Don't you?..." --You're So Vain by Carly Simon

It is.

Stranger

Sitting in front of the TV, I watch but cannot see
How you in your Alpha Glory, can straight up lie to me
You laugh off my concerns, scoff at my feelings to qualm my fears
You look me in the eye to justify as you give your alibi
About how I should trust after all these years
I watch as you go into your closet for you have several options
Watching you remove your mask for your evening wear
All prior plans with me so easily forgotten
How can you discard my very specific concern
And go and DO exactly what you just denied?!
How can you pride yourself on your word
Only to turn right around and fuckin' lie?
You profess to be TRUTH and HONESTY
But that's a front-- behind you want to hide
I am sure again to be made the fool when I put the question to you
But I want you to know- I KNOW WHAT YOU KNOW--
Check the time-- its all in the proof
My once fragile heart has now been broken
The shards lay haphazard upon the floor
I think I truly for the first time considered
If you even love me anymore...
My heart sinks in stress, as I blink away tears
Nothing can be returned after all of these years
No outlet available to be relieved--
No open ears for my fears to be believed!
Trapped in four walls, tellin me all this is just bullshit I conceived!
All I wanted to do was be your Queen--
Birth your seed!
Now, I find, my heart-- my mind-- my soul are all in need
I thought with you and my God all things could be achieved
I've had on the goggles too long
But they've been removed, so now I see
That you don't give a shit about how I feel
All-the-while subjecting me to deep scrutiny
Made me question who I was, re-evaluating important things
When I ain't nothin but a single feather on an Eagle's outstretched wings
I will look you in the eye and later recall how calm your demeanor will be
And will again be in awe of how you could straight up lie to me
I know you ain't perfect-- neither am I, but damn of all things
Of this in particular you always made me feel securely
And oh how I wonder what else could have been done
When you return at five AM from your 'out-wit-fellaz' fun
I look back and cannot tell how I got here, but maybe time has dulled my senses
I just don't want to become cold-hearted and hold too much resentment
Honest chances are hard to have as you play Pussy behind all your lies
Your avoidance behavior has made it impossible to be repaired
So I am resolved to say fuck it-- Imma leave your punk ass-- under there
Just know that you have hurt me, for only you could have inflicted this pain
And I don't know if I will be able to look at you the same
You left a bad taste-- I have so much disdain
From saying the name-- I shall refrain
But I KNOW WHAT YOU KNOW with every cell in my brain
Thought you truer than that
But you know how the saying goes
Nice guys finish last, but its bout the path I chose
I just wish you could tell me why you chose to lie
When you want everyone to believe you're such a stand-up guy
My back you go behind
While lying to my face
But I now realize that my care does not come in first place
I look to the heavens for a sign-- an answer -- an angel
To remove this pure anger
Cuz I went to bed with the Man I knew
But woke up with a lying ass stranger.

Queen Poetess B

(BLF © 5/9/09)