Refuse

I refuse to write
But is it right that I refuse?
I have too much to relay, ignored it too long
I cannot dismiss my muse
Time to pay my dues, but these are the ones rendered to me
Though I am bound to this earth in body
My mind remains ever free
As do the long strokes of my pen as I scribble away
There is no corner of my mind in which I can
take a holiday
So, instead I close my eyes
How from my own thoughts can I shy away
Do thoughts lead into feelings that evolve into emotions
Which would cause my nerves to fray?
Hope thrown to the wind, left to be misunderstood
Left to imaginatively play this mental game with myself
For no one else could
And yet, I refuse to write
But is it right that I refuse?
Leaving my pages blank leaves my soul blank
Choosing not my time to be wisely used
Eyes could instead be to the TV-- glued
Thoughts left to challenge one another
Again, I ignore my muse
But, I no longer deny, so I no longer refuse
As I write 'I refuse to write'
Its apparent that I have given back in to my addiction
To indulge my myself into words on paper--
I need no permission
But the after affects leave my thoughts wet
A cerebral perspiration
My mind will project my mental sex as my creativity provides
A warming sensation
So now, when I say 'I refuse to write'
I mean I refuse not to
Contained in my mind--Queen Controller of Tyme
I'm paying myself my due.

BLF 4/20/2009 ©