“…The whole world seemed full of hurt feelings and apologies, endless selfishness and explanations. Wasn’t there anything that anyone could understand about each other? Weren’t there some hurt feelings that mattered more? Or did it all matter just as much, interminably, wound after wound?...”
--Miranda Donnal
From the book Among Other Things, I’ve Taken Up Smoking by Aoibheann Sweeny
Just because you feel a certain way, doesn’t make your feelings truth
So please understand why I find it’s hard to share these feelings with you
With you I want to be vulnerable— but I fear its revealing will be thrown back into my face
Leaving the subject matters untended, and my feelings out of place
Is not the world filled with apologies and emotions misunderstood?
How long can we ignore them all, and act like it’s all good?
Will we run from them forever, hoping that the dodging tactics are sufficient?
Is there only one Entity reading my heart, and is purely omniscient?
Since the feelings don’t matter, I ask, Do I?
Or am I a hopeless woman left to let my insecurity take over, in your eyes?
I try to ignore; embody the Fuckit attitude of the ones who carry these weights on their shoulders
Our sex is left to be used as pleased by the dominant—they claim they are stronger, they are bolder
We try and lose ourselves in the lyrics of music, the many pages of books
We ignore what we know we have given, and the things from us they have took
Listening to words and reading lines that no man would ever say unto me…
Guess you think my ideas are as fanciful as my desire to write myself complete
I share and I am open, but you read not my pages
I support what you do, but what I do is seemingly viewed as time that has been wasted
I am interested and intrigued by what excites your mind
But left with dull blades when it comes to the sharpening of mine
Queen Poetess B Copyright © 2009
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