With A Heavy Heart....

She has been released from prison; she has been relieved of her pain and her day to day struggle... but this has bought me little comfort in the past days knowing I must continue in her absence. I do though, because I can still hear her fussing at me to stop worrying about everything! :) I don't think her voice will ever leave me, so I pray it never does. I have so much to say, but am ill equipped at the moment. But I draw comfort from the love of friends and family-- their well wishes. It may seem simple enough, but I have begun to rebuild myself with the following thought from a friend I read only yesterday:

This chapter of your life may be met with bereavement and hard times, but in the midst of this storm, you will find a healing like no other. A healing that will make you the strong woman little girls aspire to be. My prayers are with you...

You will never know how much that has meant to me.

Vivid Visions

Yesterday I did not post-- but does not mean that I did not write! I have been mulling this one over for a little while; a combination of pleasure and pain. Just an FYI on the photo... it is entitled: Reflections of a Queen

She entered the grocery store
With her little boy on her right hip
As she stared into his eyes
Her husband's eyes shone back perfect

He sat in the front of the cart
As his Mommy strolled the aisles
And his little tiny hands outstretched
Toward all the most colorful of items

He beat on the puffy bags of granola
His amusement and pleasure evident in his smile
"Mommy!", he laughed
While swinging his feet happily and wild

She smiled at her son
And lightly kissed his cheek
Gathered fresh grapes
For this time of the year, they were sweet

Realizing the need for more applesauce
She continued her grocery shop
Several containers were needed
For her son liked them alot

Constantly complimented
On the beauty of her little one
For a blend of this woman and man
What a comb-i-na-tion

This miracle created in the eyes of the Father
With a husband who loved her so
Now done at the register with payment
To their vehicle they would go

He sits quietly and content
Talking to his favorite Bear Ben
After loading up the car
She carefully fastens him in

She pulled onto the street
Thinking of her home and her husband waiting there
Ever wanting his love and presence
And family time to share

But, to her surprise, she was unable to reach the
end of the block
Her car rolled to a hard stop as her ears registered the familiar
ring of gun shots

Ahead she saw a man run
His faced blurred because it happened too fast
The silhouette of a young female steps off into the street
and out of the grass

Though the young Mother knew danger to be nearby
She couldn't help but run to this woman's aid
Within a second, she was by her side
She stared in horror at the gaping wound in her stomach the bullets made

She covered her mouth in shock
Staring at the horror with wide eyes
She knew from that day forward
There would be nothing that would be able to remove
her dying cries

A pool on the pavement ran red
No longer was a it black
What the young Mother wouldn't give
To rewind time a few moments back

It was at this time she too began to feel warmth and pain all over--frantically thinking, "But I'm not the one!"
So she ran the few feet back to her car
To check on her smiling son

As his laughter filled her ears
Her eyes darted to the woman on the ground
Then she bolted up in a deep sweat
She was at home in her bed once reality had been found

The warmth and the pain, still however remained
In the bathroom the light would reveal
That the puddle of blood had not been fabricated
Its remnants on her gown were cold and real

Her son, not yet born-- very little time to go
His life was now lost, never his face did he show
She cried out in agony for the smiling son she had just kissed
He had come, and he had gone
Already, he was missed...

BLF 4/17/2009 ©