Dear Absent

two letters...

Dear Absent,



I write this letter to say all the things that will never fall upon your ears
For while you lie in death I live in truth despite shed tears
All these years
I want to thank you for your absence
because it has healed me in ways
your presence never could

For all the times I wanted you here, you chose to be there and everywhere else than with your seeds
Until the choice was no longer yours
So you were sent to do state chores for the penitentiary
Meanwhile I grew roots to the earth, and sprouted a few leaves
While you were on extended leave
And in your absence
I didn't bother replacing the idea of a father-
Forgot all about ya-- all for me
The replacement God sent
Set the stone of a throne for a Queen like me
N' was so much better
than you were ever destined to be
Even still when you were set free
Deported to your home
Across the sea


You didn't send a letter, a post card to me
But when you fully reaped what you failed to sow
A couple years later down the road
Only then would you dare to begin
To write a letter
neatly constructed yet fortified with falsified love sent
And oh, poor you
You were nearly destitute
Before the thought crossed your mind to reach out for you youth
Stretching wavering foreign arms out across lands
Attempting to beg favors from your estranged daughters' hands
Your tones fell on strangers ears, for we know not this man
And-


Besides, I was only 14
But this you never knew
Because every time I spoke with you,
You once again had forgotten...
...how old I was...


so Years later
I got word that you had been shot
I knew I should, but I just could-not
feel sadness


You can say my cold heart is Madness
but I was dealt a father than was manless
Whose had at least six chances
to get this Father thing right
But that's alright
Cuz I sleep tight
While I think at night...
while you lie in death, I live in truth
I want to again say thank- you
For your absence because it has healed me in ways...
Your presence never could...
Dear Absent,

I write this letter to say all the things that will never truly fall upon your ears
For while you live a lie, I thrive in truth despite my outs and ins
And realizing the fear of
Of life without a close friend
So
I want to thank you for your absence because it has humbled me in ways your presence never would


Always wanting to attach you to my hip
But Girl
I never could get a firm grip
On who you really were
Or are


Sometimes I wonder if you even know
Cuz Its unbelievable how far one can go
To create fantasy they can eventually fancifully believe


I really wanted you in my life, but you continuously lied to me
Often by omission or the simplest things
Telling me this friendship was important to you
Cuz It was of actual importance to me
But when I call it how I see
It seems you only deal with people when it comfortably fits your needs
So I got tired of being your lawn bag
To store your troubled leaves
That continuously blossom from your *poor choice seeds*
That you sprinkle round liberally
I want to be there to help
But its your own demons that have dealt
your hand
I hope you play it right
I pray you're smart enough to see the light
Impossible to take flight from your plight
Running from your lessons that will return blessing
When you try to run from Life
Don't want to find you devoid of family and friends
But its hard for us to remain
Sitting idly by as you treat the ones who love you with disdain
I'm sure you will come back to the middle again


But till then
To my chagrin
This door's revolution must come to an end
And I'll say again


That while you live a lie,
I thrive in truth
And despite my outs and ins
This chapter's at its end
Dear friend
And I want to thank you for your absence because it has humbled me in ways your presence never would


Dear Absent...
I write this letter to say all the things that are not worthy enough to fall upon your ears
For while you devour lifes pleasures
death I consume truth despite shed tears
All these years
I want to thank you for your absence because it has healed me in ways your presence never could...

Brandy "Poetryee Queen" Facey  Copyright © 2011   All Rights Reserved.