...of the Fittest

Like the accident that caused a traffic back-up on 495
I sit impatiently waiting for the moment that I will most truly feel alive
I want my tolerance to rise, but my patience is short
thinking I may have to abandon the mission
my dreams I want to abort
(… Im all outta sorts…)
but decide that abandonment is not the answer
I ignite my lyrical fire to burn away the guilt you shove my way
the way chemotherapy attempts to rid a patient of cancer
my mind is an ocean and my words ride the waves that crash upon the shore of my page
I’m at the brink of success, but they tell me I digress
from what they want me to believe that I should do
gotta live my life my way, not allow myself to be subjected to the selfish words that flow from the two
Why, no, how can they want me to give them what they have denied me?
Been carrying this load blindly—annually—but now I refuse to go quietly!
They think I am beside myself, but I am owning the truth that flourishes inside me
But its misconstrued, the way my actions are viewed, and my honest thoughts are tired of hiding
I meant not to offend or wound, but you try to mute my due
I remained all the time, deferred my dreams, sacrificed my goals
while your preoccupations had full possession of you
But for some strange reason, you treat me as though I am speaking from a higher ground
However I refuse to not own my mind; so when my voice is heard, you don’t like the sound
Don’t ever deny that I love you; bound in blood forever as sure as our bodies will return to dust
I will have to accept you think I am selfish
Because what I am doing, I have to for me— my self-preservation is a must.

Queen Poetess B © Copyright 2009